This week you get to relax while I talk about something very VERY close and personal.
I actually considered NOT posting this stuff as it shares some very private details in my personal life.
Then I thought that this is EXACTLY what I should be sharing and posting for you!
The flawless natural, underground style.
I’m going to share with you something that is very close to me and has played a big role in my relationships with woman over the last years. The flawless natural method focuses solely on being able to get beautiful women you want into bed and if you so choose, into a relationship.
Because of the jam packed nature of it, there was no time to cover something that is also important if you are going to manage having all these women in your life.
That is: Breaking up.
Breaking up with a girl is something that can never truly be flawless.
It can, however, be managed and dealt with to minimize the pain to both you and her.
Make no mistake, wether it is you or her doing the breaking up, it hurts both of you EQUALLY as much.
Personally I have had 3 serious (6 month+) relationships in the past 5 years along with various periods of chaos on the town seeing multiple girls every week.
With each girlfriend I have done the breaking up and each one there are some common characteristics and pitfalls you should be aware of that I have experienced.
NOTE: this post is not about how to maintain or choose a good relationship or girlfriend. I may post on this later, if you like, but this week we are specifically looking at the break up itself.
This means either a) you have ALREADY chosen to break up with your girlfriend or b) you have been broken up with or c) neither, but this will be good knowledge to have stored away for the future.
On with the show.
The first girlfriend cheated on me. She was unattractive, unintelligent and just not right at all. But I loved her. Because I really loved having a girlfriend, CHERISHING, doing all those things.
I was a total chodey loser and pretty much deserved to be cheated on at the time.
So girl 1 - Cheated on me and so I broke up with her to maintain any scrap of manly dignity I had. This didn’t hurt so much because I kinda met Girl 2 during the breakup. This made it a lot easier.
The second girlfriend was AMAZING. A beautiful girl and I just got swept up in how amazing she was. By now I actually wasn’t as much loser town and we got along so well. We had our own little world. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and it seemed she felt exactly the same.
Well this seems perfect huh? Well yes and no. I still think if I was with girl 2 that we would be happily ever after… but it wasn’t her fault we aren’t. It was mine.
You see I got discovered by the boys at RSD. They offered me a trip to LA to train as an executive coach. At crossroads with an opportunity of a lifetime I decided to say goodbye while we are still very young and off I went to LA LA Land as a young naive little Aussie kid out to have some reckless fun.
Granted, I am off to LA with no idea what was happening and staying at this random place called project Hollywood. It was actually really tough as well. All my friends were finishing university or other things. My family must have been flipping the hell out.
A mixture of hard work, travel and whirlwind adventure was ensured and I met some of the best friends of my life. In coaching clients, I met some amazing people and every guy who has ever taken a bootcamp with me is now a part of me as much as I am a part of him. Not to mention the truckloads of girls that I met and had the pleasure of.
Fast forward to 2007. I decided to take a year off RSD and pursue the other passion: DJ’ing.
House and electronic music has always been the soundtrack to my life. it uplifts and speaks to the core of me. I scored a wicked residency at a nightclub where I played four nights a week.
It was there I met gorgeous number 3. Young. Stunning and just so womanly and feminine that as we spent more time together we HAD to spend more time together. Being with her was like a massive decompression from the craziness that was world touring, adventure and clubbing for a couple of years.
Then the calling came again. It is this weird feeling of uneasiness I get. Something inside that points me to do certain things. It happened when I broke with girl 2 as well.
I was to go back overseas and continue my RSD quest. This time putting together all the adventure and learnings of now being a natural with women into something real and tangible for the world to see…
…The Flawless Natural Program.
I still loved her but the thing on my mind was I am a man that has his life’s work in front of him. If I am unable to do my work, how can I be a good man? and how can I even deserve a high quality woman such as girl 3?
I firmly believe that if a man is not on top of his stuff, then he doesn’t deserve a high quality woman. It is like deserving unearned riches. You can trick or fool or con people into giving you money just as you can trick or fool or con a girl into you but deep down in your soul something still is not right. It is bad.
At Melbourne airport waiting for the flight to Los Angeles was my mother, father and girl 3.
I remember sitting there knowing that I won’t see these guys for many months as I go to do what I have to do. I tried to hold it back, but as I got on the plane I actually cried for the only time I can really remember.
8 Months later. Flawless Natural was born.
And now, later, girl 3 is gone.
How would I have felt if I hadn’t gone back overseas and created FN?
How would I have felt if I didn’t go and held myself back so that I could just be with my girl?
Much worse than the loss of girl 3 due to me pursuing the dream would be for me not to go for my dream.
So yes. Break ups still hurt and still cause a lot of pain to both parties but sometimes it is just best.
Here are the practical bits of advice that I think are solid:
Surviving a break up 101
1. Don’t rethink, re-live, re-count your decision or past moments together or anything. Try not to visit places that you used to frequent. The emotions will take over and who knows what you will do. Accept the decision and move on.
2. No texting. No talking. No meeting up. Nothing. It cannot be any other way. Don’t go to the same parties or venues or anything.
3. Accept that there is hurt. Don’t deny it and be all tough man. This will just prolong it. You are essentially a good person! So just accept that it is going to be tough for a little while and get on with it.
4. Take action. Anywhere anytime. Call a friend to meet up. Start a fitness program. Do extra work. Something. Just take action. NO WALLOWING IN YOUR BED OR LAYING AROUND.
5. Think positively. You WILL find someone else. Don’t doubt yourself. You are all good, kid. This happens to everyone at some point. This is where you start to find every ounce of your natural optimism and utilize it.
6. Going and shagging 10 more girls is not going to solve everything. TRUST ME. It is only a temporary solution and wears off after a couple of days before you go and find the next girl. So don’t go all jumping in to the next relationship either. Being single is actually quite fun and cool. You get some alone time and it is much healthier on the back account too!
7. Suck it up and take it like a man. Don’t talk to EVERYONE about it ALL the time and be all “depressed break up man”. Think about your grandfather or father or their generation. When the tough times came they just dealt with it, they didn’t talk and talk and talk about it. They dealt. This is part of being a man, being able to fight your own battles.
Anyway file this post away somewhere for when you may need it. Good luck if you are in this situation. I feel you.
Thanks for taking the time to read through this weeks installment. Hope it gave you some insight.
And now on to more fun stuff…
I am off to the studio to work on some more music!
PS. I have made a master text file of all the attributes from last week. Great stuff! we will use this in the coming weeks.